The darkness in your eyes
by kris lynwill
Summary: Peeta is struggling with flashbacks in district 13. Guess who's there to comfort him? One-shot for now, but if interest is shown i will make more. I tried to stay as true to the characters as possible, and make it seem like it could've been in the book. From Katniss's POV. Read&Review! Rated T, for sexual activities, but it's not dirty. Let me know what you think! Read&Review!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! My name is Kristen and I'm 17. I really enjoying writing, and would love to make a career out of it. Let me know what y'all think! Enjoy!**

It was just over three months ago. I had stood behind the two way mirror, facing into Peeta's room. He was sitting at the edge of his bed, head in hands, having a flashback. I watched as he intentionally dug his nails into his face to bring himself back to reality. He was having more trouble than usual, and it was beginning to worry me. "I can't watch this." I mutter to Haymitch as I turn to leave. As I reach for the door a soft whisper began filling the room. I turn back to see a look of surprise crossing Haymitch's face. "What is that?" I question, walking back to stare through the mirror. Haymitch points to Peeta, who is now staring off into space, an enormous smile plastered on his face. "Katniss." He whispers. "Katniss."

"He's coming back." I whisper to Haymitch. "It would seem so." He mutters, a half smile forming on his mouth. "I'll go alert the doctors." A little while later, after the doctors had finished questioning Peeta, Plutarch comes in with an overjoyed look on his face. "In light of the fact that Peeta's mind is becoming more stable, we would like to try an official reunion between the two of you. You know, something to put in a propo to show the people of Panem that, even though you've had everything taken from you, Snow can't take away love." My eyes widen in disbelief. "What if he comes after me again." I say, absentmindedly rubbing my neck where he tried to choke me. Plutarch shakes his head. "Peeta doesn't seem to be violent anymore. More than anything, he's just confused. Clearly he has a great deal of feelings for you but he doesn't know quite where to place them, or what kind of feelings they even are." I nod. "I'll try it if they think it will help."

Moments later I'm standing in front of Peeta's door, my heart nearly about to pound out of my chest. Plutarch types a series of numbers into the keypad and the door slides away. "Good luck." He says before walking back to the viewing area behind the glass. I take a deep breath and step into the room. Peeta's laying flat on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Peeta." I say quietly, almost hoping he won't hear. He turns his head to face me and jumps into a sitting position. "I was hoping they'd have you come see me." His voice is flat, and I can't tell what he means by it. Did he want to see me because he is starting to remember good things, or because he wants to kill me?

"How are you feeling?" I say, taking the seat across from his bed. He shrugs. "A lot better physically, but mentally my mind is a mess. I was hoping you'd help me clear some things up." I nod. "What were you wanting to know." He closes his eyes for a second, as if trying to remember something important. "We've kissed in the past, is that correct?" My cheeks turn a light shade of red. "Yes." I say quickly. "Several times." A faint smile crosses his face. "I was hoping that memory was real." This takes me a bit off guard, and I don't really know what to say. "There's something I would really like to ask you, but you don't have to answer if it would make you uncomfortable." I take a deep breath, feeling somewhat better about the entire situation. "Ask me anything if you think it would help your recovery." He nods. "Do you love me?" I immediately want to answer yes, but I see how my answer could confuse him depending on what kind of love he means, so I hold it back. "In what way." I say. He looks away from me a bit awkwardly, as if not wanting to fully explain what he means. I've never seen Peeta at a loss for words and it amuses me slightly. "Did you love me in the way that everyone says I loved you." Peeta finally says. I take another deep breath, trying to formulate a response in my mind. "You don't have to answer." Peeta says, staring at his feet. "No." I say quietly. "I have to." His eyes flicker up to meet mine and I go on. "I've always cared for you a great deal, but-. " "If you don't love me, you don't have to explain it, I understand." He says, clearly frustrated. "But." I say, with a bit of edge to my voice. "It wasn't until you were captured by the capitol that I realized; I do love you like you love me."

A moment passes, and it feels like a thousand years. Peeta's eyes are wide and he's staring off into space. "Peeta?" I whisper. His eyes flicker back up to mine. "What do you see when you blackout like that." He shrugs. "I see a lot of things, mostly about you. It's hard to set apart what happened, what the capitol made me think happened, and what I wanted to happen." "Can you give me an example?" I ask, rubbing my sweating palms on my pants. "Sure." He says, laying down and propping himself up on one elbow. "I know for a fact we were in both games together. The capitol made me believe that each time you tried to kill me, and all I wanted was to protect you from them."

I reach out for his hand. He flinches a little at first but lets me take it. "Peeta." I say softly. "I will never hurt you." He immediately pulls me into his arms, and for a moment, it feels like it used to. "Just promise me you'll never leave me." I pull away to look at him. "I promise." I say, brushing his hair away from his forehead.

It's been three weeks since Peeta's supposed breakthrough. He's been released from the hospital and given his own compartment. The more time I spend with him the more I realize, he may not ever be the same again, but slowly he is coming back. There's been a few times when I've gone to visit him and found his room a wreck and him crumpled in the corner. It usually ends after he's called me a few unpleasant names, and cried in my arms. He tells me he's sorry and begs me not to leave him and I tell him I won't no matter what. I then lay with him as he falls asleep. It's so similar to what he did for me, and I feel like I owe it to him to be there when he awakes from a nightmare.

I ignore my schedule as much as I can, and go to visit him like I am today. I walk quickly until I reach compartment 607; far away from my own 2354. I knock, twice, but there's no answer. I begin to worry. The only time he doesn't answer the door is when he's mid flashback. I knock again before letting myself in. The room is dark except for an overturned lamp casting small shadows against the far wall. "Peeta." I whisper. When my eyes adjust I see him huddled in the corner; his face pressed against his palms. "Peeta?" I say again. He doesn't move. Against my better judgment I cross the room and kneel down in front of him. "Peeta?" I say lightly touching his arm. He lifts his head just far enough for me to see his dark, black, eyes.

"Go away." He says angrily. "No, Peeta, I'm not going to leave you." His hand reaches to touch my neck. I tense up a bit, but his touch is soft. His fingers lightly trace the bruise that has nearly disappeared. "Why not?" I take his hand away from my neck and wrap it in my own. "Because, I promised you I wouldn't. I'll be here as long as you need me to." His pupils begin to shrink, not much, but just enough to show I'm having some helpful effect on him. "But what If I need you forever?" He says. Despite my nerves I force a smile. "Then I'll be with you forever."

He reaches his other hand up to push a strand of hair behind my ear. "I love you." He mutters. This is strange. It's like he's him, but still mid flashback. I don't understand it, but I no longer feel threatened. He sits up a little straighter to get more leveled with me. Slowly he leans in. I don't move; afraid I'll set him off. When our lips are inches apart, and I can feel his breath he speaks. "Do you love me Katniss?" "Of course." I whisper. And then he kisses me. His lips are warm and soft, and it reminds me so much of the old Peeta. His kisses quickly turn from slow and soft to hard and hungry, and before I know it I'm kissing him back the same way. He quickly gets to his feet and pulls me up with him. His arms circle around me protectively, and he pulls me towards the bed.

I lie on my back as Peeta hovers over me, continuing to kiss me. He pulls away from me and stares in my eyes. His eyes are, again, fully dilated, and I'm even more confused than before. "Tell me you love me." He says. "I love you." I barely finish the sentence before his lips are on mine again. I know where this is leading, and it surprises me that I don't want to stop it. He tugs at my shirt and I lean up so he can pull it off. I feel somewhat awkward at first as he stares at me. I try to move my arms to cover myself, but he stops me. "You're beautiful." He says running the back of his hand against my face. I melt like butter, and pull him closer to me. He reaches down to undo my belt and my nerves increase. Slowly, he pulls my pants off, and stands to look at me. "Beautiful." He whispers. I sit up and tug at his shirt. I don't like being the only one completely exposed. He pulls it over his head and I immediately notice the new scars on his body. I reach my hand up to trace a circular one on his ribcage. He grabs my hand and kisses it. He begins to undo his belt, and soon stands before me completely naked; the fallen lamp casting shadows across his body. He pulls my underwear off, and I shudder uncomfortably. He seems to notice and kisses my cheek. "Do you want to?" He asks, his dark eyes staring into mine. It takes me a moment, but I nod. He gets back on top of me and begins to kiss down my neck and chest. He removes my bra and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I've wanted this for so long." He mutters into my neck. And then I understand. When I asked him what his flashbacks consisted of he told me that not only did they consist of real memories, and capitol altered ones, they included events that he wanted to happen. Which means being with me, like this, is something he wanted long before the capitol captured him.

I can't explain what happens next. Something inside me ignites and I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling his face close to mine. "I love you." I say, and kiss him fiercely. He slowly lowers his body onto me, and I feel the intense pressure as he moves into me. There's a slight pinching feeling at first, but it eventually turns into nothing more than a dull ache. He's gentle and warm and loving, and when the fact of what we're doing hits me, I have to mentally hold on to keep from floating away. Before long I'm grabbing at his back and the sheets and anything I can reach. And then out of nowhere it hits me; the warm, magnificent feeling of overwhelming joy. Peeta buries his face in my neck, and the same feeling seems to wash over him.

We stay like that for a few minutes before he pulls back to look at me. His eyes are still dark, but he's smiling. He climbs off of me and wrapping his arm around my waist, pulls me towards him. I can feel his breath on the nape of my neck and I shiver. Soon he's asleep and I follow, not being able to hold my eyes open any longer.

In the morning his arms are gone, and I'm immediately worried. I roll over to find him on his back, staring at the ceiling. He glances down to me and I notice his eyes are clear. "I'm sorry." He finally says. "For what?" I say propping myself up on my elbow. "For forcing myself on you. I swear I had no control. And I understand if you don't want to spend time with me anymore." I reach over and touch his cheek. "You didn't force yourself on me. You asked me and I told you yes." His eyes go wide. "You wanted to be with me?" I nod, and it's barely a second before he's rolled over hugging me. "I couldn't separate reality from fantasy, and I had no idea if it really happened or not until I found you next to me. I was so worried I forced you into something you didn't want to do." "It's okay, Peeta, you don't have to worry, I wanted it from the moment you kissed me." He pulls back to kiss me softly between my eyes. "Does this mean you want to be together?" "Of course." I say, and an enormous grin spreads across his face. "I love you so much." He whispers. And for the first time since I got him back, he feels like the old Peeta.

**& thanks for reading. I love The Hunger Games, and I hope everyone likes this. If the response to this is good I already have several more chapters lined up. So read and review, and let me know what you think. Also, I listened to the song Demons, by Imagine Dragons while I wrote this and I think it perfectly sums up the way Peeta is feeling. I highly recommend everyone go listen to it. Read and review and thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

Hello! So I didn't get much feedback from chapter one but what I did get was positive so I decided to go ahead with chapter 2. I warn you, things will be getting darker and more violent, and this chapter has a few more sexual things than the last one did. Just a warning! Be prepared. But anyway, let me know how, and if, you like it! R&R!

Chapter two

Peeta and I hold hands on the way to breakfast, just like every other morning. It's been like this every day since the night we spent together. I have no idea what he thinks will happen, but he hasn't let me out of his sight since. It doesn't bother me much though. He's by my side when I need him, and always close by when I want to be alone. He's not as passive as he was before, and on several occasions when Coin says something to me that Haymitch or I don't like Peeta's always the first one to start arguing with her. I think he distrusts her as much as I do, but for now we're both at her mercy.

Peeta's flashbacks are fewer and less intense than before, but there are still several instances where he'll squeeze my hand a little too hard or hug me a little too tightly. It's like he's hanging off the cliff that is reality and I'm his breaking branch; the only thing keeping him from falling.

Everyone has already arrived when we make it to the dining hall, and I make sure to drop Peeta's hand before entering. No one else knows that we're officially together, and I'd more or less like to keep it that way. Peeta and I grab trays full of who knows what before taking our seats in front of Finnick and Annie. Annie doesn't seem to be having a good day, but Finnick's there caressing her hand as she stares off into space. I've always wondered what she sees when she blanks out like that, and the more time I've spent with Peeta I'm beginning to understand. Her flashbacks are not capitol altered and I wonder if I'll become desolate and withdrawn like that in a few years. My nightmares are almost too much to handle as it is. I can't imagine going through day to day life having blackouts that take me back to the games.

Gale sits next to me, and the air around the table is slightly tense. He doesn't trust Peeta around me, and he most definitely doesn't like that fact that he's now free to roam around the compound.

He turns to me with a smile, and elbows me in the ribs. I yelp loudly and Gale's face is immediately full of regret. "I forgot you must still be sore from getting shot in 2" He says apologetically. "I guess that counts out hunting for today." Peeta's hand tightens around mine beneath the table, and I jump a bit. "Yeah." I say, my ribs still throbbing from being jabbed. "Maybe tomorrow." He nods and gets up to leave. "I'll be looking forward to it." He says patting my shoulder.

After breakfast I walk Peeta down to the hospital. Even though I regularly disregard my schedule, Peeta is forced to meet with several therapists a week under the threat of being put back into confinement. He doesn't say anything on the way down, and it's beginning to make me worry.

"What wrong?" I ask, once we're in the elevator.

"Nothing." He mutters. His voice is hard and uncaring. I drop his hand and step in front of him. His eyes are clear, which is a good sign, but it doesn't explain why he's acting like this.

"Peeta." I say. His eyes bounce around the room before finally meeting mine. "Why are you acting like this?" He doesn't answer. When the doors open he steps around me and starts off down the hall. The elevator doors close. Separating us.

I pass Boggs in the hall on the way to my little hideout in the supply closet. "Where are you headed to in such a hurry?" "Where's Gale?" I ask ignoring his question. "In the war room with Coin like you're supposed to be." He says raising an eyebrow. I shrug. "I forgot." I mutter. "Well." He says impatiently. "If you bothered to take a glance at your schedule once In awhile, you wouldn't forget.

I follow Boggs to the war room. Inside, everyone is gathered around a large screen attached to the wall.

"Now that you've decided to join us Soldier Everdeen, we can begin." Coin says, clearly frustrated by my lack of responsibility. She nods to Plutarch and the lights dim. The large screen on the wall lights up in a blaze of fire. A man's voice begins to speak. It takes me a moment before I realize its Peeta. The fire dims and reveals the footage of me in Peeta' hospital room. There's no sound, but you can clearly see our lips moving. He hugs me, and some soft piano music begins to play. It fades to black, but Peeta's voice can still be heard. "You can't stop a wildfire." He says, and then it's over. The lights come back up and everyone in the room, including Coin, looks pleased.

I space out for the rest of the meeting, trying to figure out when and how Coin convinced him to record that. When everyone gets up to leave I turn to Gale who's been listening intently the entire time. "I actually think I might be up to hunting today, if you still want to." His face lights up slightly and he nods.

When we're in the woods I stand, arms spread, inhaling the scent of the forest deeply. My nerves begin to calm, and the knot in my stomach begins to go away. "How's Peeta?" Gale asks halfheartedly. He's sitting on a rock by the water cleaning a rabbit. "Better." I say sitting down a few feet away. Gale never asks about Peeta and I'm wondering where he intends going with this. "That's good." He says. "For a while there I was worried about him killing you." I stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to look up, but he doesn't. He just continues cleaning the rabbit. "I guess it's a good thing I wasn't there when he attacked you. I'm pretty sure I would've killed him." "Where are you going with this?" I ask standing up. The frustration in my voice is evident and I hope he catches it. "I don't think you should be spending so much time with him." He says. I shake my head. "You're unbelievable!" I shout at him. "He needs me!" "No." Gale says standing up. "What he needs it to be put back in the hospital where he can't hurt anyone." I don't realize what I'm doing until after I've slapped him. My hand burns and there's a red mark covering his entire cheek. He doesn't say anything. He just grabs his game bag off the ground and starts off back towards thirteen.

I follow behind him the entire way back. He doesn't say anything and neither do I. The moment we're in the compound we go our separate ways; him towards the kitchen and me towards Peeta's room. I knock a little too hard on the door, and it causes the hand I slapped Gale with to ache. Peeta answers after a moment, clearly frustrated. I don't wait for him to say anything before I push my way past him inside. "What the hell's your problem?" I say, louder than I expected to. "I don't know what you're talking about." He says, sitting on the edge of the bed. He slumps over, putting his face in his hands. I immediately know what's about to happen. I sit next to him and rub his back. "Peeta." I say gently. "Tell me what's wrong." He looks up at me and my heart stops. His eyes are pitch black, and his breathing is heavier. "You don't love me." He says through clenched teeth. I shake my head. "No, Peeta that's not tr-." I don't finish because in an instant he's on top of me, pinning my shoulders to the bed. "You're mine!" He practically growls. "Not Gale's, mine!" I'm worried more now than I've ever been. Peeta's main objective has always been to either protect me or kill me, never to own me. I'm about to speak when his lips crash into mine. It's far from the way he usually kisses me. This isn't soft and loving, it's forceful and hungry. His teeth scrape mine and he bites my lip several times. He pulls back long enough to undo my belt and I'm mortified. He pulls my pants down to my knees and after a moment his fingers are inside me. The forcefulness feels good, but at the same time this isn't my Peeta. This is a side of him I've never seen, and it scares me.

As his fingers move in and out he trails several bites down my neck. I can't help it, I moan slightly and without a moment's hesitation he's back on me kissing violently. He presses against my ribs and I scream, but this only seems to egg him on. He pulls me up off the bed and strips me down. He stands behind me running his hands from my shoulders to my chest, and finally to my hips. He yanks his shirt over his head and undoes his pants, letting them drop to the floor. He steps towards me, and the look in his eyes lets me know that he's too far gone for me to reach him now.

He pushes me down, and climbs' on top of me; yanking my hair free from its braid. "I'm going to show you." He says, and I'm surprised he's even speaking. "Why I'm the only one who can have you." He pushes into me slowly at first before picking up speed. I'm tense at first but eventually loosen up, and it begins to feel good. His nails dig into my shoulders as he moves faster and faster. It's not long before that same intense feeling from before hits me and I dig my fingers into the sheets. Peeta groans and buries his face in my hair. He keeps slamming into me until the same feeling hits him and he bites down, hard, on my shoulder.

We don't move for several minutes. Peeta's panting, still smothered in my hair. I'm out of breath to, but mostly because of his weight on my ribs. "Peeta." I whisper. And he pulls back to look at me. His pupils are still entirely dilated, but his face is softer and more concerned. I don't know what he sees, but a horrified look comes over him. And that's when I notice the blood smeared on his cheek. My eyes go wide and I wriggle my way out from underneath him. I run to the bathroom, only to be shocked by what I see in the mirror. Both of my shoulders are bruised and bloody from nails and teeth. My neck is covered with red bite marks and my bottom lip is bleeding from where he bit me. Peeta comes up behind me. He examines the marks on my neck and shoulder before wrapping his arms around me. I don't move. I'm frozen. I don't know what you would call what just happened between us, but it wasn't making love. There was no love in what just happened, and now I'm bleeding. "I'm leaving." I say meeting Peeta's eyes in the mirror. His arms drop and I leave him standing in the doorway as I move past him to get dressed. I bend down to pick up my shirt and end up doubling over in pain. My ribs feel like they're on fire. Peeta's instantly by my side, helping me back up. "Don't touch me." I mutter through clenched teeth. I force myself to pick up my shirt and put it on. I turn to find Peeta sitting on the edge of the bed, his face in his hands. I pull on my pants before going to stand in front of him. He lifts his head and his eyes are blue again. "Peeta?" I whisper, and he begins to cry.

I sit down beside him and he puts his head in my lap and sobs. I rub his back as his tears soak my jeans. "I'm so sorry." He chokes out. "I'm a monster. I was so jealous, and I couldn't control myself." I continue to rub his back as he cries and we stay like that until I notice the bottle of pills on the nightstand. I gently pull him up to look at me. His eyes are red and his cheeks are wet. "What are those?" I say pointing to the pills. "The doctor gave them to me." He says still choking on his words. I get up to examine the bottle. It's filled to the brim with little blue pills. "How many have you taken?" I ask. "Just one." He says coming to stand beside me. "I took it right after I got back from the hospital this morning." I push past him and into the bathroom where I dump the pills in the toilet. "Don't take anything else they give you." I say to him when I'm done. "I think those pills are what caused this." He nods sitting back down on the bed. I sit beside him, but far enough away so we don't touch. "I don't love Gale." I finally say. He stares at me for a moment. "I would understand if you did." I shake my head and he nods, before moving closer to me. "But." I say standing up. "I think we shouldn't spend so much time together, at least not for a while." "Katniss, please." He begs. He reaches for my hand but I pull it away. "I can't get the image of the way you looked at me out of my head!" I scream. He jumps, and I calm myself before I set him off again. "I just need some time." I say before turning to leave. "Do you still love me?" I hear him whisper. I turn slightly, and I feel a tear roll down my cheek. "I love you, but I'm afraid of you." I say, and then I'm gone.

And there it is. This story just got a tad bit darker. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Read and review and let me know what you think. The amount of enthusiasm shown will determine when and if I do chapter three… so yeah. Read and Review!


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